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A Morning View From the Patio

I am continuing to look at Matthew 5 and today we are gong to focus on verse 4. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." 
I remember the first significant death in my life which I experienced was Granddad Halter. It was fall of 1976, I was a sophomore in high school and his funeral was on a Friday, week 10 of my high school football season. My family had been together the night before for alone time and everyone in the room was a mess, except for me. I thought, "Well, someone here needs to keep their senses and have some sort of control." So I became the rock in the room comforting everyone else. I cried a little, but I did not grieve and mourn because someone had to be under control. 
I went to school, left to attend the funeral and went back to school because I wanted to play in the game that night. My coach gave me the option to miss the game and I said no way! My Granddad was going to finally get to watch me play a football game. I was fine during the service, all I cared was that he was going to see me play for the first time. We finished up the funeral service and after everyone had left I went to the casket one last time and broke. I sobbed, the wave of grief fell over me and I was on my knees crying and shaking to the core. For the first time in my life I knew what it meant to mourn. 
As I read commentaries relating to this passage, I believe Jesus was referencing a different kind of mourning. Mourning in the Beatitudes was not about physical death, but mourning of the sin I have committed in my life which in turn separates me from God. Let's look at this verse differently. Blessed are those who realize their sin separates them from God, confesses them, seeks forgiveness and falls to the floor sobbing and shaking to the core. Blessed are we who truly repent and seek to not sin again. Blessed are we who identify the grace of eternity afforded us when we mourn our separation from God and celebrate reconciliation. 
I am not sure I have mourned my sin properly. How about you? 
Lord, please bless me as I properly mourn. Bring me comfort! 
Peace,
PB

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