I remember Mr. Geometry Teacher talking in my class my Sophomore year of high school about a plane intersecting a plane. I do not remember the details of what he was trying to teach, but I just didn't understand. It was difficult for me. So to illustrate his point he took a textbook and tossed it on the floor in front of me and said, "Do you see it and understand now?" As hard as I tried, I really did not understand and I said no. He looked me in the eyes and said, "Are you stupid?" My response was, "apparently I am." I shut down and I got a D for my final grade while learning nothing.
How clearly do you communicate with another and how clearly do others communicate with you? It is difficult to grow and understand what is said, what is done and what is being communicated if we do not intentionally find ourselves seeking to clearly hear and understand what is being said and not interpreting it through our personal lens? If we do not strive to place ourselves in the shoes of the other while striving to better communicate then we will always find ourselves in a place of turmoil and unrest.
Although I strive to learn and understand others "languages" there are often moments one or the other walks away from a conversation saying, "That was good, we talked and got this situation taken care of and the problem is solved, move on." The other may walk away experiencing disappointment in the moment for not being heard finding themselves internally disturbed with the conversation. Because of our previous experiences with and interaction with another, we base our next communication with them on how they responded before in anticipation of the same response. Without resolution this can, may or will build up misunderstood patterns of response and potential barriers of communication. This can easily happen because we see life through our eyes and not the eyes of another.
There are still days the 15 year old Sophomore shows up identifying as stupid. There are days when I believe I have done well communicating to find out I did not. Often I find that what I believe is being portrayed in my spirit during conversation is not what others interpret. There are also many times I experience being cheated when I wonder what was not said to me. I believe I miss out on the richness of another. I really want to understand what Mr. Geometry Teacher was trying to help me with, even if it is difficult, but to this day I never have and probably never will.
Solomon is speaking to his son in the following passage.
“My child, listen to what I say,
and treasure my commands.
Tune your ears to wisdom,
and concentrate on understanding.
Cry out for insight,
and ask for understanding.
Search for them as you would for silver;
seek them like hidden treasures.” - Proverbs 2:1-4 NLT
“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. ” - James 1:19 NLT
“For God chose to save us through our Lord Jesus Christ, not to pour out his anger on us. Christ died for us so that, whether we are dead or alive when he returns, we can live with him forever. So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” - 1 Thessalonians 5:9-11 NLT
Successful communication is difficult work with a tremendous return. I have a long way to go, how about you?
Peace,
PB
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